Friends

My Storytellers Unplugged column for today. "Think about what you're doing, not how you're doing it."

Shadow Unit: "Vigil"  Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. (more to follow)

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Right. So that's done. What next?

2008
Revise "The Red in the Sky is Our Blood" (this week or next.)
Revise Bone and Jewel Creatures
Finish Chill (real damned soonish, now, I hope)
Revise One-Eyed Jack and the Suicide King
Write S2 Shadow Unit episodes (looks like 2.5 right now, unless stuff changes.)
Write Boojumverse horror collab with truepenny
Write "Smile"
Write "Snow Dragons"

2009
Rewrite The Sea thy Mistress
Write Patience & Fortitude (if it sells.)
Shadow Unit S3

 

In last week’s contest, I asked for unpublishable blurbs for my novels, and you did not disappoint. I’m now ready to declare a winner. That winner? Frank Schiavo. Mr. Schiavo submitted this unpublishable (and borderline unbloggable) blurb:

“MultiReal is the biggest and best thing I’ve held in my hands this year. It is filled with a white-hot explosion of goodness that literally comes up from every page in a burst of salty yet sweet power. An earth-shaking winner that will be stiff competition for awards come next season and that I’m sure to tell all my friends to strap on and try out for themselves.”
– Award-winning actress & author Tera Patrick

I thought this blurb was hilarious even before I had any idea who Tera Patrick was. Then I Googled the name and discovered that this woman on the right is Tera Patrick, star of such films as Teradise Island and Asian Street Hookers 6. (Perhaps I might have recognized her if I hadn’t stopped watching the series after the disappointing Asian Street Hookers 4: Electric Boogaloo.) Even more amusing was the fact that Frank sent this blurb from his work email at a law firm in New Orleans, complete with ridiculous law firm confidentiality disclaimer in the footer.

Such shameless and enterprising genius has earned Mr. Schiavo a copy of the Complete David Louis Edelman Canon, consisting of:

• One copy of the Solaris mass market of Infoquake
• One copy of the Pyr trade paperback of MultiReal
• One copy of The Solaris Book of New Science Fiction, Volume Two (containing my story “Mathralon”)
• One copy of the new Overlook Press edition of Mervyn Peake’s Titus Alone (containing my introduction)

I will say that Mr. Schiavo did have some tough competition. I thought the best runner-up was this clearly well-thought-out blurb, submitted by Mick Summer:

“MultiReal is tonight’s word! Have the literati snobs left yet? Just for us sci-fi readers, MultiReal is real meat for hard science fans! David Louis Edelman’s godless, liberal future cleverly masks an explosive expose of today’s mediascape, with truthiness and balls by the spadefull. Get MultiReal! Don’t forget Infoquake, the prequel. For a two-patty brain-shaking read, get the pair! MultiReal — and so can you!”
– Stephen Colbert

In a similar pseudo-political vein was this one, submitted by David Crampton:

“MultiReal? Liberal propaganda! Everyone knows there’s only one real! More than one real is un-American! This Edelman character is probably terrorist fist-bumping with sleeper cells! Now, I’m not saying that he’s a criminal, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up in Gitmo! How many reals will he have then, huh? What do you mean, did I read the book?”
– Bill O’Reilly

There were even some good quick one-liners, like this one from Steven Klotz:

“Forget steak. I’d go Judas on Neo’s ass for just a glance at MultiReal.”
– Cypher

Jim Haley put a smile on my face with this twofer from James T. Kirk. The ellipses are a nice touch.

“Captain’s Log, Stardate 07032008. Bones gave me a… copy of this… MultiReal book and I just… can’t seem to put it down. Not even an… Orion slave girl could… tempt me away.”
– James T. Kirk

“Captain’s Log, Stardate 07032008.1. As it turns out… a Orion slave girl… COULD drag me away. But not for long.”
– James T. Kirk

Overall, a very nice batch indeed — and there were more worthy entries than those I published here. Thanks to all who entered.

* * *

As for the approximately 6 billion people out there who are not Frank Schiavo… here’s your next chance to win the complete DLE canon.

This week’s contest: inspired by Frank Schiavo (and Tera Patrick), I want to see the best science fiction or fantasy-related porno parody title. You know, like:

• Star Whores III: Revenge of the Tits
• Rod Emperor of Dooin’
• J.R.R. Pokien’s The SeeMoreJillian
• MultiFeel: Book 2 of the Hump 269 Trilogy

Bonus points if you stay away from the old stand-bys. I mean, come on, we’ve all thought of a million porno parody titles for The Lord of the Rings and Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan by now. Let’s see some good porno parody titles for really uber mega geeky works that only a confirmed SF/F addict would recognize. Where are the parody titles for C.J. Cherryh’s The Pride of Chanur? Or Philip K. Dick’s Flow My Tears, the Policeman Said? Norman Spinrad’s Bug Jack Barron?

Submit as many titles as you want. I’ll be picking the winner based on the single best title. Once again, you’ll be competing for the four books you see here. Deadline is Sunday, July 13 at 11:59 pm Eastern Time.

Submit entries via email to dedelman@gmail.com, with “Summer Giveaway Contest 2″ in the subject line. (Really, use that subject line. I had to fish a couple entries out of the spam filter last time. Having a subject line to look for really helps.)

2016 words on Seven for a Secret today, for a completed submission draft, and I just sent it in.

Boys and girls, it's time for a nice glass of something bad for my liver. And a couple naproxen, because my back has just announced its feelings about me being in this chair since 7 am this morning.

Whew.

Here's a spoiler page in which you can talk about (or ask me questions about) Ink & Steel.

All right, novella. Tonight, either you go down, or I do.

*rolls up sleeves and makes a pot of tea*

ConVersation, MPCon, and PyOhio are all on the same weekend. I'll go to ConVersation and leave briefly to have a meeting with the MPCon organizers and their sponsors. Even though I'm doing the program book for PyOhio, Columbus is too far away to catch either of the other events.

Due to an embarrassment of riches caused by seriously underestimating the size of the internet, we're stepping up the release schedule for the over-hiatus Shadow Unit content. Rather than twice a month, we will be posting new content twice a week, because it seemed like making everybody (including us) wait through December for the last of the content was silly and mean (in both senses of the word).

So from tonight through the middle of August, we'll be posting new content twice a week: a new scene every Thursday night and Sunday night.

As Emma says, Are we crazy? Crazy like a platypus, baby.

This is Lucy posting on atdt1991's journal.

The internet is boring today.

That is all.

This is a call out to Stargate: Atlantis people because I need you! For the Stargate fan panel I'm working on at Comic Con, I'm in need of a scene. The game I'm putting on is having fans from the audience reenacting this scene. I'm not so up on Stargate: Atlantis as I should be, but I'm hoping someone will have an idea for this. I'm looking for a scene that is not just funny, but has four or five people in it. I'm tilting to Fourth season, so that way either Jeannie Miller or Dr. Keller can be used, too. I was thinking about the scene between Rodney, Keller, and Carter, but that's not enough people. :( Anybody have a couple of suggestions? I have a transcription site so I'm square on that.

Any help that people can give me I will greatly appreciate and reward with virtual cookies!

Thank you! :D

Not too shabby, I'd say! Definitely on the right track of me trying to overcome the darkness within myself and within this world, and working on myself and my life.

Luke Skywalker
Boldly striving to overcome the darkness both in this world and within yourself, you are righteously devoted to forging your own destiny.

It's your choice, but I warn you not to underestimate my powers.

 

While it goes without saying that I am fucking FINE...

It should be noted that I happen to be the LESS attractive partner in my particular relationship...

Wow!

All of those wonderful vids in one place!

The page includes the following vids:

Hellboy and Ghost Hunters
Hellboy and James Lipton (part 1)
Hellboy and James Lipton (part 2)
Hellboy and Chuck (part 1)
Hellboy and Chuck (part 2)
Hellboy and the American Gladiators
Hellboy audition on Mun2
Hellboy PSA

Woo. I haven't even seen the first movie, but boy do I love this ad campaign! <3 I

I may need more of that later. Like some more Mudslide. Mmm. That was so good. Soo, soo, soo good. Gonna have to get one at TGI Friday's to see how that tastes. But the one in the bottle is very good, too. Spent the Fourth with Katie and her family. Lots of fun. I love them. She has a cool mom and a cool sister. I don't know Bret, her sister's fiance that well, but he's nice.

I'm soo tired now. Lack of sleep (two and a half hours) in...well, I'm five and a half hours away from being awake for 24 hours. It was a good day. No writing done, but I relaxed after work with my family and then with Katie's. Movies were watched, fireworks were watched, and now, per the Fourth of July tradition, Yankee Doodle Dandy is playing on the TV. Movie made me fall for James Cagney. But I'm listening to this over and over again. It's beautiful and the video itself is more so.

Speaking of videos, there's a new interview video out with Adrian Pasdar, from the Saturn Awards. He's candid, honest, a bit shy, and looks really good. Plus he mentions Comic Con, which is also a plus. I knew he was going to be there, but he says himself he will be. :D

What would be crack is if we could get Obama at Comic Con too. You know the Presidential Heroes Fanboy wants to get a scoop in on this season, too. That would make myras_girls die or something.

from cmpriest:

Students in the Clarion West writers’ workshop are not having a particularly joyful Independence Day, I fear. Someone broke into the house where they’re staying (a sorority house in the U-district, I believe) and stole four laptops, some clothes, and possibly some other items; the damage is still being tallied.

Her post continues with a request for assistance and some other information. Please read it, and make any comments there.

For anybody who wants to read them in August, Fantasy Book Critic is doing a giveaway for three sets of Ink & Steel and Hell & Earth.

Go forth, and register!

I's is made of Win. I called the panel would still be on Saturday, before noon or run until 1 and that it'll be in Hall H. Which is the only way to go after last year's fiasco. But it seems that NBC thinks that they will get 6500 even after Season 2. I know they have their money banked right.

So this is how it goes, on Saturday:

10:45-11:45am Heroes panel
Location: Hall H (Holds 6,500 people)

7:00-11:00pm Heroes Soundtrack Release Party
Location: House of Blues

I'm going to have to get my ass to House of Blues really quick. I'm finishing up a Stargate fan panel at 7. I wonder if this is the first soundtrack that came out, or the new one from Wendy and Lisa. *checks 9th Wonders.* Yep! It is theirs! Check out the thread. They will be at Comic Con promoting it. Woot, woot!

Thank you to petrellilover for the heads up.

I get to go home, finally! Woo!


( A seasonal comic for you (tasty!) )